The Fourth Way—Principal Ideas

Each of us thinks of ourselves as "I." We are an autonomous individual, a Whole, a unified person who eats, drinks, sleeps, works, loves and hates, who makes choices and decisions and acts upon and within our own world. Yet at times we are aware of the contradictions and incongruities in us. We see how we have many moods and personalities that manifest in different circumstance. We have one personality with our spouse, another with a co-worker or boss, and still another with our best friend. We know we freeze at the thought of public speaking but can tell a great joke at a party. We may be sophisticated connoisseurs of art and literature or run our own company, but retrogress to childish behavior with our parents.

We call ourselves even-keeled, yet we explode internally if we can't find a sock, or spill our coffee. Our moods swing back and forth throughout the day in reaction to stimuli of all kinds, some external—a sunny day fills us with joy—some internal—a childhood memory sinks us into depression. We make promises to ourselves—we will start exercising, cut back on television, spend more time with a friend—but the moment we have the opportunity to do so, we either forget the promise entirely or have ten reasons why we cannot do it just now. Nevertheless, we speak of ourselves as "I", we say "I" did this, "I" think this, "I" want to do that. We believe that we are a unified individual.

In fact we are plural beings. We have no individual "I," but instead are made up of hundreds and thousands of small "I"s that change with each thought, mood, desire or sensation. These "I"s are related to our likes and dislikes, our beliefs about who we are, and they compete with each other to control the moment. But they do not know each other, for we live in the "I" of the moment, caught in its spell, aware of no other.